Save it for Sunday

It has been a week not for the weak! The bad news? We had to say goodbye to our best friend. The good news? Every second that ticks by now is one closer to being whole again. Let the countdown begin!

That smile says I kept him laughing until the very end. Mission accomplished.

The Highlights

There is truly no greater love than that given by friends and fellow Army wives at the kickoff of a deployment. My friend Jenna was literally waiting for me in my driveway with a huge care package when I arrived home after dropping Brad off on post. Even better than all of the goodies (the highlights being wine and girl scout cookies of course) was her hug. I fell right out of the drivers seat into her arms and ugly cried for a few minutes before pulling myself together to see the kids. It was exactly what I needed. So many encouraging texts flooded in and various friends stopped by with sweet surprises throughout the afternoon. Day zero is difficult beyond anything I can explain. I do not wish the atmosphere of the bag drop and final family farewell area on my worst enemy. The heartbreak is literally palpable. The sounds of kids crying for their parents as they walk away haunts me. I am so thankful for friendships that light up my darkest days.

Eloise is STARFISH official and SWIM SAFE! Literally the day after I wrote my last blog post and predicted she would earn it soon, she aced her test. In order to earn her starfish badge she had to do a flip, dive to the bottom of the pool, toss in, and humpty dumpty (fall off the pool ledge) with an independent recovery to her float position. And then she had to float on her back for a full five minutes! It was incredible to see. The best part was seeing her lose her float positioning a few times, mostly because she was bored not because she couldn't hold it, and get back into it all by herself. It made me feel so confident that no matter what sort of dangerous water situation she found herself in she has the skills to survive. Now she gets to move on to learning to really swim and move herself through the water. I can't wait to see her progress by the time summer arrives. And Miss Brittany thinks Harvey is not far behind our starfish girl! He is jumping in and swimming to the surface totally on his own and sometimes floating with just one hand of neck support. Sometimes being the key. Other times he kicks and squirms. The cutest thing is now whenever we lay him down in his bed he says, "no kickers."

Speaking of badges, I earned a new boy mom badge this weekend. We attended our first Touch-a-Truck event, and Harvey may never come down from cloud nine. As anticipated, he was completely enthralled and thrilled to sit in the drivers seats of so many of the vehicles he swoons over in books. To see, feel, and climb them in real life nearly put him over the edge. He was fascinated by the seat belt of all things in each truck, and Eloise was so sweet and tried to help him buckle it every time. Harvey's favorite was the bulldozer. Eloise's was the pizza delivery van. Sounds about right!

The Small Moments

I told Brad the one thing I wanted on his departure day was for the same chocolate covered caramel apple my friend Cat sent me during my 30 days to 30 birthday celebration to arrive on my door step. I have been dreaming of it ever since I devoured it in October. He broke the news to me on his last day home that it was a seasonal item. Always one step ahead though, then he pulled out the ingredients and proceeded to make me his own version! Find yourself a man who spends his last day stateside making you homemade caramel apples.

My mom and I took the kids to Barnes and Noble on Wednesday after dance. I am not sure who loves trips to the bookstore more, me or them. The train table and Winnie the Pooh stage in the children's section are always a big hit. Harvey obviously found a book with wheels on it to zoom around. The highlight of this visit, besides a fresh stack of fun books, was Eloise calling the Hundred Acre Woods the Hundred Naked Woods. We all had a good laugh which was exactly what our souls needed.

I have declared Fridays at our house pizza party nights.  Our first one was spent eating pepperoni pizza on the living room floor watching Happy Feet together. It was also the debut of Big Head Brad! Eloise thinks he is hysterical and squeals with delight when he arrives to hang with us. Harvey seems confused and mildly terrified. It makes me smile to see his handsome (enormous) face in pictures with us. Big Head Brad will be making future appearances at recitals, birthdays, beach days, holiday parades, soccer games, for popsicles in the backyard, first days of school, etc. You name it, he'll be there. I am thankful for the idea I stole from a few other military spouses I have seen use a big head daddy. Whatever it takes to feel connected. I do not recommend leaving a big head propped up on the couch to leave the room for any period of time. When you return, the sight of it may inflict a heart attack.

The Ways We Grew

Eloise is a true sour patch kid lately. One minute she is making me want to rip my hair out and the next she is making my heart burst. She has a new fixation on her clothes. Up until this point she has never really cared what she wore and has always let me pick out her clothes. Now she is dedicated to only wearing dresses or skirts during the day and nightgowns to bed. On particularly fiesty days she will only wear pink or red dresses. I am at the point where I am about to stock her closet with only dresses because I am so over the battle. On Thursday as I was dragging my sobbing sour patch into preschool because it was chapel day so she had to wear leggings and her chapel t-shirt, she did a complete flip to her sweet side. She stopped and asked where the preschool director was, who is usually always standing at the front door greeting students by name (I love our preschool). Eloise almost always gives her a giant welcome hug and didn't want to go to her classroom without it. We found the director in her office on the phone. When she saw Eloise with her arms open wide and a big goofy grin on her face she immediately ended the call and scooped her up before I could insist we didn't need to interrupt. What a difference a hug can make in the day of a child. Dress crisis averted. For now, anyways.

Harvey started hugging me tight during our bedtime lullabies this week. When I squeeze him right back he giggles. We go back and forth alternating squeezes and giggles until our songs are done. How did he know I could really use the extra hugs this week? At the Touch-a-Truck event he learned how to say and what it means to wait your turn and did it so patiently. We also saw him willingly hand over two trucks he was having a blast with to another little boy younger than him in the toddler play area. I have been drilling it into him that we share with our friends, so now anytime he is face to face with another kid his age he says, "hi friend." Harvey's reaction to Brad being gone has really caught me off guard. I didn't think he would really think much of it, but he has been so observant and sweet. Brad wears a Qalo silicone ring on deployments. I wear his real wedding band on a chain as a necklace until he comes home. Harvey loves to put his fingers through it anytime he is in my arms and tell me it is Daddy's ring in case I forgot. He puts his ear right up to the audio player in the Army bears we had made for the kids when he hears Brad's voice. At the end of the recording Harvey says, "Love you, Dad." Every. Single. Time. I tear up. Every. Single. Time. Just as much as his emotions have taken me by surprise, I am shocked by how much comfort Harvey has brought me this week. He is a mini Brad. When I look into his big, deep blue eyes, I see so much of my best friend.

The Witt-isms

"Hmm...okay. But where is Neverland?" -Eloise, after Brad showed her where he would be on a map. Priorities!

"This boy is on fire!" -Harvey, who has clearly heard sissy sing her favorite Alicia Keys song a few times.

"Look! So beautiful." -Harvey, pointing to the train he just built.

Looking Ahead

Stroller Safari | 6 days --- Our incredible zoo does a monthly program called Stroller Safari's. It highlights a particular animal each month and gives kids a behind the scenes, hands-on sensory experience. I am taking the kids this weekend to enjoy the March with Matilda (the wallaby) event. I am hoping it brightens up our first Saturday just the three of us. Weekends are tricky as everyone else enjoys family time, but I am determined to make the most of it for them. 

Preschool Mother's Tea | 11 days --- Brad got to enjoy spaghetti with dad a few weeks ago with Eloise at preschool, and coming up shortly it is my turn for tea with mom. Harvey will stay home with Jenna so I can enjoy every special minute with my girl. 

Our Favorite Books: For Deployment

If you know me, you know self restraint in the children's section of a bookstore is not something I possess. Filling Eloise and Harvey's library with meaningful stories and vibrant illustrations brings me such joy. Fortunately, I am blessed with a husband who replies with, "one thing they can never have too many of is books" when I come home with another new stack. 

I set out almost as soon as we knew Brad was heading overseas again to purchase a collection of books that will be helpful in explaining the emotions of deployment to our kids. It is a tall task at ages two and four, but I really believe books is one of the best places to begin. Hunting for the perfect deployment library has honestly been therapeutic for me as we anticipated the big see you later. Children's literature has a beautiful way of boiling down big, important lessons into basic terms. So much of what is written in the pages of these nine books are things I need to be hearing every day too as we journey through this year together.

In all honesty, I was pretty disappointed with most of the books suggested to me by fellow military spouses when I asked for deployment book ideas. The "standard" deployment books for kids, if you will. Most of them were incredibly cheesy and over-the-top patriotic. Of course I want my kids to know Daddy is a hero in our hearts and sacrifices so much for our country. But even more so I want them to know that it is okay to feel sad, confused, scared, impatient, and even mad too. I wanted to find books that would make them think, make them laugh, make them ask questions, and, most importantly, books that would bring them peace in knowing how much Brad loves them. Even from a far. 

I have these awesome books on display on our deployment wall in the kitchen. They sit on a shelf low enough that Eloise and Harvey have access to them at all times, and we often discuss favorite books or ideas from what we have read that day again together during meals. I really think it is the perfect placement. I am so excited to share these with you! Mostly because I know how valuable this list will be in the coming years for so many dear friends. I pray that these are a source of strength and comfort to you and your kids as you face the heartbreaking separation of military life. 

Happy reading!

1. The Invisible String by Patrice Karst | A useful title for separation of all types, not just deployment. Introduces the idea of an invisible string connecting two siblings to their mom as they are scared in bed during a storm. The story ends with the idea that we can never be alone as we are always connected to the ones we love, even if they are in another room, on the moon, or even in Heaven. 

2. I'm Sad by Michael Ian Black and Debbie Ridpath Ohi | I found this gem in a dreamy bookstore in downtown Aspen, CO on a trip last fall with our beloved neighbors. Even just the memory of where I first stumbled upon a book is enough to cure some of my own deployment blues. It follows three characters, flamingo, potato, and a little girl, as they navigate flamingo's sadness. What is it? Will it last forever? They discover the best way to cope is to allow the time and space to fully feel it. It approaches a tough topic in a lighthearted way, making it a must for a deployment library.

3. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn | This one is great for a back to school bookshelf and is how it first joined our library. I think the theme is perfect for deployment too. Brad gave each of our kids a big kiss in the the palm of their hands to hold tight while he is away.

4. My Daddy is a Hero by Hannah Tolson | If you have never explored Usborne books before, you definitely should take a peek. They are some of my favorite books we have for our kids. I hosted an online party when Eloise was a baby and ended up with $300 worth of free books it was so successful! Clearly my friends and family share my Usborne obsession. This was a new release last year that my mom picked up for the kids. It discusses in simple terms the logistics of a handful of specialties within the military, perfect for explaining what a soldier's job actually is without the fear factor. I know I struggle with that question from Eloise. I love this one a little extra because it comes in a "My Mommy is a Hero" version too. 

5. Waiting Is Not Easy by Mo Willems | The beloved duo Piggie and Gerald are back again. This time Piggie has a surprise for an impatient Gerald. It makes my kids giggle to see Gerald getting so antsy wondering what it could be. The last page is a beautiful starry scene that was indeed "worth waiting for." I like explaining that Daddy's homecoming will be just as worthwhile even though we may feel just as frustrated as Gerald some days as we wait.

6. My Dad is Amazing by Sabrina Moyle | Just a silly, fun one to balance out some of the heavier topics on the shelf. Always necessary to talk about how Daddy is "cooler than a million popsicles" and "tougher than a rhino wrestler." Super cute illustrations and a My Mom is Magical option (that we actually own and put out on our Mother's Day shelf) make this a must have.

7. I'll Love you till the Cows Come Home by Kathryn Cristaldi | A variety of animals travel to far away destinations where love still exists. The outlandish situations make the kids laugh while explaining that love knows no boundaries. 

8. When Sadness is at Your Door by Eva Eland | Brad and I found this one together perusing bookstores together leisurely on our pre-depoyment, kid-free getaway in Boulder, CO. Another memory tied to a book that makes me smile. The overall theme of this one is to let Sadness in and sit with you awhile instead of hiding from it, even if it "sits so close to you, you can hardly breathe." Give it a name. Find out what it likes to do, and just as it appeared it will be gone one day. I particularly love the illustrations of the cute green blob that is Sadness petting a cat, doing yoga, and eating ice cream to find happiness again.

9.  I Love You Near and Far by Marjorie Blain Parker | I am sucker for a good rhyming book, and this cat lady gives out bonus points for portraying cats as a sweet military family on the cover. This is another good one for not just military families though. It talks about the love between family members who are miles apart for any number of reasons - divorce, deployment, or just grandparents who live far away. I like to explain that Daddy is far away for work just like Grandma Sue, Papa, Nana, and Mickey live far from us. I think that helps it seem less scary to little minds because they already know what it feels like to miss their grandparents, but they also are familiar with the happiness of being reunited. It will be the same way with Daddy before we know it. 

10. Lilla's Sunflowers by Colleen Rowan Kosinski | One more title not pictured because I forgot it as I was creating my graphic (oops). It is too good to leave out. Lilla is heartbroken when an entire season with her sunflowers in bloom comes and goes before her dad gets a chance to see them in person. The page with dead, wilted sunflowers and a tearful Lilla WILL make you cry. You have been warned. I am preparing myself for some big tears over why Daddy can't be here to see the things our kids are proud of, first on deck being Eloise's dance recital. This book will be so helpful in working through that disappointment together. And power through the pages, because this tear jerker does have a very happy ending! 

Save it for Sunday

The Highlights

Some of the happiest memories we have had as a family this winter have come from playing outside in the snow together. Harvey finally thinks it is fun instead of pouting and struggling to move in his snow pants the whole time. At the beginning of the week we had a beautiful snow fall, but life got busy and we did not get outside to play in it. I had been kicking myself all week for the missed opportunity. In true Colorado fashion, it melted by the next day. With 0% chance of snow in the forecast I had no choice but to get over it. Saturday morning we woke up to...surprise! A respectable covering of sparkling snow! I could not help but smile knowing mother nature had graciously delivered a second chance just for us. I am so hard on myself in these final days of anticipation. I want everything to be as perfect as possible. I want Brad to eat all of his favorite home cooked meals. I want to capitalize on as many opportunities for family fun as possible. I want all the smiley pictures of my crew together in one frame. I want Brad to have as many comforts of home packed to take with him as possible. As silly as it may seem, this last frolic in the snow really felt like a gift.

Dadford is an expert snowman builder

After Eloise's 892 dates, Harvey finally got his moment in the spotlight! Donuts with Dadford and a brand new set of wheels. It does not get any better than that in Harvey land. Our favorite local donut shop has a little donut mobile for sale that Harvey is always swooning over. Move over Lulu the school bus as the fan favorite. Guess what is now zooming around our house? One can never have too many cars. And thanks to Grandma Sue, I got to enjoy one last date night with my best friend too. I ate my feelings in carbs. Brad ate two cannolis. Success.

During our last deployment, I started my own little hashtag and posted a picture a day on my Instagram account. They were numbered with what day it was all the way to the happiest day when Brad returned home safely and met Eloise for the first time. I have to admit, capturing and posting them became kind of daunting. I made a mental note to maybe skip it next time around. But fast forward a few years as we started prepping for Brad's departure this time. He asked me if I was going to do the picture a day thing again because he loved it so much. UGH. As I grumbled on about how I didn't want to, he encouraged me to go back and look through those days now as a history. It was THE BEST. So good in fact, that I ordered a Chatbooks flip book composed of all 266 days right away. Chatbooks is worth checking out if you are looking for a quick and easy way to turn your Instagram pictures into high quality photo books. When it arrived in the mail this week, I immediately knew #wittdeploymentdays would be making it's grand return soon. I am still debating how to go about it this time since I am usually off of social media for the most part until Sundays. Do I take and label my seven pictures and post them all on Sunday? Allow myself a set amount of time on Instagram each night after bedtime to do a catch up scroll and post that day's picture? What do you think?

The Small Moments

Eloise is big into her doctor's kit Aunt Whitney gave to her for her first Christmas again. It comes and goes in waves, and when the wave hit, no one is safe from her frequent check ups. Naturally, Harvey is her favorite patient as of lately. He is actually such a professional actor now that I caught him earlier this week bouncing his leg up into the air and exclaiming, "oh!" every time she pretended to check his knee reflexes. It was the cutest thing and had Brad and me rolling on the ground laughing.

My best childhood girlfriend Aura gave me my first piece of Brian Andreas artwork probably over a decade ago. My collection has since grown with both Aura and Brad contributing pieces from time to time. A few weeks ago I finally got three of my favorites hung on our entryway wall, and ever since then they are constantly making me smile. I found out that the artist does "A Story Every Day" email each morning. You all know I have been trying to step back from social media and set boundaries for myself, and this email subscription has become one of my favorite new morning rituals instead of immediately scrolling. There is always a piece of his art attached with a motivational paragraph or two about it's origin or what it means to the artist. His words somehow always hit home in some way and motivate me to start the day with a positive attitude.

Newest addition and favorite from Brad

The Ways We Grew

Eloise is unbelievably close to earning her starfish badge at swimming. Mark my words, one of the next save it for Sunday posts will have a picture of our proud little fish with a medal around her neck. I am a little bit heartbroken that Brad won't be here to see her earn it, but it was so fun to watch him geeking out on Saturday watching her do her flips, dives, and floats so successfully. We are hoping to FaceTime him in for her award ceremony. Eloise's lab work came back and is still off. The goal is to get her TSH between 0.5 and 4.0. It is now up to 0.14 from 0.04, so we are moving in the right direction at least. They dropped her dose again and we will be back for more blood work in a month. In other Eloise news, her ballet teacher announced that they will be dancing to "You'll Be In My Heart" from Tarzan for their recital in June. You can imagine how that song news hit my heart. I will need five boxes of tissues at a minimum nearby for the actual performance.

Harvey's vocabulary is continuing to explode. This week his favorites are "you did it, bubba" to congratulate himself on a job well done and "oh my gosh" not in reference to anything in particular. He learned it and just loves to say it. His protest of all blankets on his big boy bed has finally come to an end. Ever since he moved out of his crib he has thrown a huge fit any time we try to cover him up. Well our frigid temperatures this week changed all of that. He discovered the glory of burrowing under the covers all by himself, and it is super adorable to see him snuggled up. Eloise isn't the only one with dance news this week either. Harvey has been doing shuffle steps and digs galore as well as his signature move: "shake a booty." A year of studio brother life and he is picking up the moves. This dude is ready to dance! Unless he is at Lowes too close to naptime...

The Witt-isms

"Hear the bells?" -Harvey
His way of asking me to roll the windows down as we pull into the parking lot at Eloise's preschool so he can hear the bells. They play Amazing Grace every morning right at nine as all of the preschool families are arriving. It is one of my favorite little moments of the day and apparently one of Harvey's too.

"We live on Mercury." -Eloise
"No, we don't. Can you think of what our planet is called?" -me
"Mercury is the closest planet to the sun. It is VERY hot during the day and BBRRR FREEZING COLD at night!" -E
"Wow! That is so cool that you know that. But is our planet called?" -me
"We will definitely need sunglasses when we visit Mercury." -E
"We would need more than sunglasses. We'd burn up!" -me
"Oh yea, true mom! We'd be like POOF and turn into a poof ball!" -E

Looking Ahead

The Oscars | 0 days --- The Oscars are on tonight! Every year Brad and I make it our mission to watch as many of the films nominated for best picture as we can together before it airs. Even with everything going on, this year has been no different. We watched Bohemian Rhapsody, A Star is Born, BlacKkKlansman, Roma, and Black Panther. The other three are either still in theaters or not available to rent yet. It makes it so much more fun to watch the awards when you are rooting for someone.

Family dinners | 3 days --- A few of my friends here have husbands deployed on the same timeline as ours. We all agreed it is when evening arrives that we usually miss our spouses the most. Beginning Wednesday, once a week we are going to rotate cooking/hosting responsibilities and share our own twist on family dinners together. There are so many things I am looking forward to about these nights. A few less dinners to cook for one is a huge perk, but being together with strong women and mamas who are feeling and going through all the same things as me is simply the best.

DiBiases visit | 7 days --- More visitors on the calendar! The more the merrier. Who is booking their trip next? One of the best things to come from our time at Fort Campbell was my friendship with Lauren. She has a genuine heart of gold, and her husband's school event in Denver has impeccable timing. I am so glad they will be in town for a major mood boost.