If you know me, you know self restraint in the children's section of a bookstore is not something I possess. Filling Eloise and Harvey's library with meaningful stories and vibrant illustrations brings me such joy. Fortunately, I am blessed with a husband who replies with, "one thing they can never have too many of is books" when I come home with another new stack.
I set out almost as soon as we knew Brad was heading overseas again to purchase a collection of books that will be helpful in explaining the emotions of deployment to our kids. It is a tall task at ages two and four, but I really believe books is one of the best places to begin. Hunting for the perfect deployment library has honestly been therapeutic for me as we anticipated the big see you later. Children's literature has a beautiful way of boiling down big, important lessons into basic terms. So much of what is written in the pages of these nine books are things I need to be hearing every day too as we journey through this year together.
In all honesty, I was pretty disappointed with most of the books suggested to me by fellow military spouses when I asked for deployment book ideas. The "standard" deployment books for kids, if you will. Most of them were incredibly cheesy and over-the-top patriotic. Of course I want my kids to know Daddy is a hero in our hearts and sacrifices so much for our country. But even more so I want them to know that it is okay to feel sad, confused, scared, impatient, and even mad too. I wanted to find books that would make them think, make them laugh, make them ask questions, and, most importantly, books that would bring them peace in knowing how much Brad loves them. Even from a far.
I have these awesome books on display on our deployment wall in the kitchen. They sit on a shelf low enough that Eloise and Harvey have access to them at all times, and we often discuss favorite books or ideas from what we have read that day again together during meals. I really think it is the perfect placement. I am so excited to share these with you! Mostly because I know how valuable this list will be in the coming years for so many dear friends. I pray that these are a source of strength and comfort to you and your kids as you face the heartbreaking separation of military life.
Happy reading!
1. The Invisible String by Patrice Karst | A useful title for separation of all types, not just deployment. Introduces the idea of an invisible string connecting two siblings to their mom as they are scared in bed during a storm. The story ends with the idea that we can never be alone as we are always connected to the ones we love, even if they are in another room, on the moon, or even in Heaven.
2. I'm Sad by Michael Ian Black and Debbie Ridpath Ohi | I found this gem in a dreamy bookstore in downtown Aspen, CO on a trip last fall with our beloved neighbors. Even just the memory of where I first stumbled upon a book is enough to cure some of my own deployment blues. It follows three characters, flamingo, potato, and a little girl, as they navigate flamingo's sadness. What is it? Will it last forever? They discover the best way to cope is to allow the time and space to fully feel it. It approaches a tough topic in a lighthearted way, making it a must for a deployment library.
3. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn | This one is great for a back to school bookshelf and is how it first joined our library. I think the theme is perfect for deployment too. Brad gave each of our kids a big kiss in the the palm of their hands to hold tight while he is away.
4. My Daddy is a Hero by Hannah Tolson | If you have never explored Usborne books before, you definitely should take a peek. They are some of my favorite books we have for our kids. I hosted an online party when Eloise was a baby and ended up with $300 worth of free books it was so successful! Clearly my friends and family share my Usborne obsession. This was a new release last year that my mom picked up for the kids. It discusses in simple terms the logistics of a handful of specialties within the military, perfect for explaining what a soldier's job actually is without the fear factor. I know I struggle with that question from Eloise. I love this one a little extra because it comes in a "My Mommy is a Hero" version too.
5. Waiting Is Not Easy by Mo Willems | The beloved duo Piggie and Gerald are back again. This time Piggie has a surprise for an impatient Gerald. It makes my kids giggle to see Gerald getting so antsy wondering what it could be. The last page is a beautiful starry scene that was indeed "worth waiting for." I like explaining that Daddy's homecoming will be just as worthwhile even though we may feel just as frustrated as Gerald some days as we wait.
6. My Dad is Amazing by Sabrina Moyle | Just a silly, fun one to balance out some of the heavier topics on the shelf. Always necessary to talk about how Daddy is "cooler than a million popsicles" and "tougher than a rhino wrestler." Super cute illustrations and a My Mom is Magical option (that we actually own and put out on our Mother's Day shelf) make this a must have.
7. I'll Love you till the Cows Come Home by Kathryn Cristaldi | A variety of animals travel to far away destinations where love still exists. The outlandish situations make the kids laugh while explaining that love knows no boundaries.
8. When Sadness is at Your Door by Eva Eland | Brad and I found this one together perusing bookstores together leisurely on our pre-depoyment, kid-free getaway in Boulder, CO. Another memory tied to a book that makes me smile. The overall theme of this one is to let Sadness in and sit with you awhile instead of hiding from it, even if it "sits so close to you, you can hardly breathe." Give it a name. Find out what it likes to do, and just as it appeared it will be gone one day. I particularly love the illustrations of the cute green blob that is Sadness petting a cat, doing yoga, and eating ice cream to find happiness again.
9. I Love You Near and Far by Marjorie Blain Parker | I am sucker for a good rhyming book, and this cat lady gives out bonus points for portraying cats as a sweet military family on the cover. This is another good one for not just military families though. It talks about the love between family members who are miles apart for any number of reasons - divorce, deployment, or just grandparents who live far away. I like to explain that Daddy is far away for work just like Grandma Sue, Papa, Nana, and Mickey live far from us. I think that helps it seem less scary to little minds because they already know what it feels like to miss their grandparents, but they also are familiar with the happiness of being reunited. It will be the same way with Daddy before we know it.
10. Lilla's Sunflowers by Colleen Rowan Kosinski | One more title not pictured because I forgot it as I was creating my graphic (oops). It is too good to leave out. Lilla is heartbroken when an entire season with her sunflowers in bloom comes and goes before her dad gets a chance to see them in person. The page with dead, wilted sunflowers and a tearful Lilla WILL make you cry. You have been warned. I am preparing myself for some big tears over why Daddy can't be here to see the things our kids are proud of, first on deck being Eloise's dance recital. This book will be so helpful in working through that disappointment together. And power through the pages, because this tear jerker does have a very happy ending!
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