Save it for Sunday

The Highlights

I do a big eye roll every time I hear someone complain about Valentine's Day or refuse to participate because "we should appreciate our loved ones every day." Well of course we do! But try to hide your bah humbug and just enjoy the flowers, chocolate, and feel good vibes, would you?! I personally look forward to the opportunity to love my biggest loves a little extra every year. Our first married Valentine's Day, I woke up early and knocked my new hubby's socks off with an extravagant breakfast feast. This year we decided to wake up together and do the same for Eloise and Harvey. We kept the menu simple (and sugary): heart shaped cinnamon rolls with sprinkles, fruit parfait, and mini donut stackers. Brad picked up tulips for the table, made strawberry milk, and meticulously molded blueberries into a heart surrounded by raspberries and strawberries. I loved seeing him so willingly dive into planning the event with me. I, of course, was in charge of a table design that would make Pinterest proud. A basket full of small surprises I had gathered (new slippers, Love Monster and L is for Love, our favorite Wunderdough, light up bouncy balls, treats, etc.) was waiting for each of them. Everything was a huge hit! Harvey thought it was his birthday all over again and proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday" to himself at various points throughout breakfast. I think that says it all. We made them feel as celebrated as birthdays do. Mission accomplished.

Harvey with his new I "lava" you Wunderdough 

Not pictured: cute matching Valentine's Day jammies (see below) due to massive blowout

We got our family pictures back that my friend Laura took of us last weekend. Truly talented photographers are wizards. Plain and simple. Trying to capture genuine smiles on a two and four year old in February wind and cold is near impossible. Not to mention I got my first ever Colorado nose bleed right in the middle of the shoot. Perfect timing. I will let just a few of our favorite images (there are SO many) speak for themselves. Wizardry, I tell you. I am beyond thrilled to have these beautiful memories to cherish and hang in our home.

 

On Friday we left the kids with Nana and Mickey (Brad's parents) who flew in to graciously give us a weekend away together. We ventured north not too far from home to a quaint little town right between Boulder and Denver. Our AirBnb was divine, a tiny house renovated and decorated by a local singer/songwriter and his artist wife. Saturday morning we rolled out of bed late and down the street hand-in-hand to a coffee shop, new books in tow after leisurely perusing the bookstore we stumbled upon along the way. I cannot tell you the last time I sat at a coffee shop and read a book! That afternoon we explored Pearl Street in Boulder. We have loved this area before, but the patience of our small sidekicks has never allowed us to wander in and out of every interesting shop. That is exactly what we did. We bought bath bombs for the kids and cute, new books for their library and talked about how much we both missed them. I am convinced parenthood is wanting desperately to get away but then dreaming of being back home where your favorite beings exist. Saturday night we splurged on a very fancy dinner at a highly esteemed and awarded Italian restaurant. I always love eating at places like Frasca with Brad. One of us will undoubtably make a fool of ourselves, causing the other to giggle uncontrollably. Will we ever grow up? Probably not. Every night was spent fireside in our cozy oasis watching movies, reading, and playing games. It was amazing how totally at home we felt there. I wanted to stay tucked away together, hidden from what is coming, forever. We are looking forward to returning at the end of the year with a deployment in the rear view mirror. I am so thankful for the time shared to clear our minds, recharge, and reconnect.

The Small Moments

On another Valentine's Day note, holidays have really become fun on such a different level now that Eloise is in school. On Wednesday night we worked together on her donut themed cards to give to all of her classmates. She took such care in making sure each googly eye was adhered perfectly, and she wanted to write her own name on the back of every one without any help. Some were better than others, and she declared with great exhaustion at about the halfway mark that she needed a break. Signing autographs is hard work. We sat down again together after her party at school to sort through the Valentine's she received. All day long she was singing a song from the Valentine's episode of one of her favorite shows, True and the Rainbow Kingdom. 2/10 would not recommend. Brad says the opening jingle makes his ears bleed. Nevertheless, hearing her little voice belting these lyrics was the icing on the cake to a truly great Valentine's Day.

It's happy hearts day. Happy, happy hearts day. It's a day that always makes us feel...HAPPY! I give you a happy heart. You give me a happy heart. It feels good to make somebody happy!

I may or may not have been humming said obnoxious opening jingle Brad hates while making dinner one night. I turned around and was immediately misted in the face with the spray bottle I use to wet Eloise's hair when I am styling it. Brad sprayed me in the face, scolding me for my poor choice. We used to do this to our cats as kittens when they were doing something naughty like jumping up on the counter. I have not been so surprised by something or laughed so hard in long time.

The Ways We Grew

Harvey is making small but steady strides towards feeling relatively okay about being away from me. Eloise has always been so independent. The first time I dropped her off at Fort Leonard Wood's hourly care when she was about his age she barely even looked back to wave goodbye as I cried big, fat tears in the parking lot. Harvey is such a different story. If I even leave him in the living room to walk to the kitchen where he can STILL SEE ME he will often cry. I am officially a member at Burn Boot Camp now after loving every workout of my free trial. We go three times a week, and while I look forward to the sweat, I dread dropping Harvey off at the childcare center. He runs after me, and I can hear, "wanna go home" through his sobs. I have been pushing through because carving this time out for myself is such a huge priority right now. Because repetition is so key for kids, I always kiss him, tell him I love him, and say, "Mommy always comes back" before I leave. It must be working, because guess what I heard from the backseat as we were pulling into the Burn parking lot on Thursday? "Mommy comes back." When I repeated our mantra to him before I turned to leave he said, "okay" in a voice that said he was nervous but trying to be brave. No tears! I practically skipped out of there. It has been such an interesting challenge for our kids to have such drastically different personalities, attachments, and worries. I am super proud of our Harv man.

The Witt-isms

"Do doin'?" -Harvey, asking "What are you doing?"

Every time we listen to The Greatest Showman soundtrack:
"Oh! It's Daddy!" -Eloise
"No, that is the greatest showman. Remember? From the movie?" -me
"Nope. I am sure that is Daddy." -Eloise
Brad does not hate that she thinks he is Hugh Jackman.

Looking Ahead

Grandma Sue's visit | 3 days --- I don't like the reason she has to come, but I do love that she will be here to lift me up at my lowest. 

Queer Eye Season 3 | 26 days --- A handful of my favorite TV shows and artists all announced release dates for new seasons and albums this past week. Perfect timing! Even the small sources of joy are worth counting down to. There are few crews I can think of that are better suited to fill my lonely nights and make me laugh than the fab five. 

Bray family visit | 34 days --- Our first round of visitors will roll into town to save the day (and my sanity) near the end of March! Ashley and her three kiddos are coming to Colorado, and Eloise is ecstatic to be reunited with her self-proclaimed future husband Levi. I cannot wait to see them all play together again, and I am equally as excited to have Ashley on the couch next to me after bedtime. Looking forward to her bubbly, joyful presence will turbo boost me through month one.

Save it for Sunday | 2.10.19

The Highlights

On Super Bowl Sunday we got to meet the newest member of our Army family. Our friends Harrison and Rose welcomed their daughter and second born last week. Usually I am only in attendance at Super Bowl events for the food and halftime show, but this time it was all for Mary. I cannot think of a better way to spend the time pretending I care about the game than snuggling this sweet girl. She and I discussed the importance of chips and queso and Adam Levine together. It was a night very well spent. I am very much looking forward to watching this little lady grow during our time together at the mountain post.

I am seriously getting a little jealous of the number of dates Eloise has gotten to go on with Dadford lately. Friday night they attended Fort Carson's daddy-daughter dance, and the way Eloise looked at Brad when he came downstairs in his uniform was definitely a prince charming, knight-in-shining-armor moment. I think it was the same heart eyes I still have for him every time I see him in his dress blues. The way she came bouncing back in the house wearing a purple crown bubbling over with excitement about cupcakes and pink balloons and new friends said it all. I think they had a good time. I promised Harvey he will get his man date with daddy very soon.

The Small Moments

Harvey is obsessed with school buses. He named the beloved yellow bus from the wooden vehicle set my mom got him last year for Christmas Lulu, and we do not go anywhere without her. He has another pull back bus that is named Bus (original) who plays second fiddle to Lulu. He will accept Bus if we can't find Lulu. On our trip to Breckenridge a few weekends ago, the kids each got to pick out a toy from the toy store. Eloise picked a little hot pink Ferrari. Harvey picked a school bus with monster truck wheels. I can only imagine his glee someday when he gets to ride a real life Lulu. His sweet, silly obsession is something I don't ever want to forget.

Fifteen months we have been in this home now, and we finally got both of our college diplomas on the wall! Our master bedroom here is huge and even has a little office corner. A lot of blood, sweat, and tears at West Point and nursing school went into those beauties, and for some reason we have neglected to get them up at our previous posts. It is a small thing, but I am so glad to see them in a place of honor now. We also mixed in a few new truck prints for Harvey's big boy room with a few of the baby animal prints from his nursery. The other three animal prints went to my friend Lindsey from our time at Fort Campbell. Lindsey and her husband are now fostering babies and wanted to create a sweet space for them. I love the way the new prints mix with the nostalgia of the old, and I love thinking of all the smiles the others will continue to bring on the littlest faces.

Finding a new, trustworthy and talented hair stylist is probably my least favorite part about moving so often. I still had not found my person here. In fact, last year I tried and miserably failed. I did a ton of research and paid a ton of money for what should have been top quality service. Well, she over processed and fried the top layer of my hair. Many tears have been shed over the chunks of broken off hair all over my head, but I finally decided to put my brave pants back on and give someone else a try before our family pictures. Woah baby, did my hair ever need some serious TLC! Check out this embarrassing before and after. I am so glad I took another leap of faith. Colorado Springs friends, Kayla (should have known she was the best) at House of Color does incredible work and is a true artist. You won't regret booking an appointment with her.

The Ways We Grew

Is it possible that I can admit my precious baby boy is not without flaw? Oh boy, did that boy ever test me this week. At dance class on Wednesday he stayed right in the doorway and did this total stinker grin back at me until I turned my head for two seconds to talk to another mom. And then he would zoom right into the studio! Stomping and laughing through all the little girls in pink tutu's practicing pirouettes and pointed toes. After class he said, "Mommy sad. Harvey naughty." He also discovered how to unplug the baby monitor in his room this week. So there is that. Once I knew he had given up the nap fight, I snuck in to plug it back in and this is what I found:

Also this week he continues to love to put his dishes in the sink and help me clean the table after meals. He also has a newfound love of throwing away his own dirty diapers. Also smile on command now too. Well, it is some form of a smile I suppose. It is a very scrunched, squinty eyed, clenched teeth Harvey version of a grin, and the first time he did it a few times in a row I cried I laughed so hard. Clearly it is a bittersweet kind of love with my Harvey man this week. Getting smarter every day and certainly keeping me on my toes and laughing!

On Thursday we attended our first parent-teacher "conversation" for Eloise. Apparently they are no longer conferences, they are conversations. It was heart warming to hear her teachers talk about what a joy she is to have in class. They said she is a vibrant, life-loving little girl in a classroom of shy students. She is always the first to volunteer, never afraid to try new things, and, in their opinion, a natural born leader. All things we already knew, but it was still fun to hear someone else dote on her the way we do. She is ahead of her age group in all of the preschool knowledge and skills. She is the only one in her class who consistently insists on writing her own name on her work and does it legibly. My proud mom heart could burst.

The Witt-isms

Pointing to the Old Navy storefront sign:
"Does that say Beat Navy?" -Eloise

"What am I made of?" -Eloise
"Cells." -Me
"Also bones." -Eloise
"True! And muscles too. You are so smart." -Me
"WANT TO SEE MY MUFFLES?!" -Eloise, flexing

Playing eye spy on a family walk:
"I spy with my little eye something that is white." -Eloise
.02 seconds pass
"I'll give you a hint." -Eloise
0.05 seconds pass
"Rocks." -Eloise

"We can never run out of love." -Eloise

"Zooooom. Beeeeep. Chugga chugga." -Harvey, all day, every day

"I love you! I so proud a you!" -Harvey

Looking Ahead

Nana and Mickey visit | 4 days --- Along with our weekend getaway comes a visit from our babysitters, Brad's parents, also known as Nana and Mickey. They will be watching the kids while we sneak away for two nights. We are looking forward to having them here. They haven't seen the house since Christmas 2017. A lot has changed!

Eloise's labs | 8 days --- It feels weird to look forward to yet another blood draw for Eloise, but I am looking forward to finding out where we stand with her levels now. We have seen a small improvement since her last dose adjustment, but my mom gut says there will be another one coming next week. We shall see. Every poke is one step closer to getting my girl feeling like herself again.

Care package planning --- Gotta seek out and cling to those silver linings where we can find them. I LOVE to plan and put together monthly deployment care packages. I think it will be even more fun now that Eloise and Harvey can help me plan themes, hunt for items, and decorate the box.

I hope you all have the happiest Valentine's week with the ones you love most!

Save it for Sunday | 2.3.19

Back at it!

The Highlights

Eloise's preschool hosted all of the dads/grandpas/uncles/male role models at their annual spaghetti dinner on Thursday night. She wanted her hair blown dry fancy, picked out a pink skirt to wear specifically because it was "good for twirling", and carried her beloved kitty purse to match. I have poured over these pictures of the two of them right before they headed out endlessly the last few days. How did my baby girl become such a beautiful, big girl? And gosh I am so relieved that this spaghetti dinner was planned for now instead of a month from now. That might have torn me apart. I cannot get enough of their bond, and it was great to see them share a special night together. As for Harvey? I decided the thing that would make him happiest would be an extra long bath with extra bubbles, tub and toys all to himself. Let's just say I know my boy well.

After hearing so many rave reviews about it, I finally attended my first week of camps at Burn Boot Camp. I have been feeling like I have such a good routine going for the kids with school, dance class, swim lessons, playdates, park trips, outings, etc. Finding time for my own fitness was taking a back seat. The workouts at Burn are fierce and the community of women is welcoming and supportive. It might take me 15 minutes to hobble up and down the stairs right now, but it feels strangely good. I made time for me and plan to keep it up. I have my sister's wedding at the end of the year and a date with a handsome dude nine months in the making. I plan to be a happier, healthier version of myself by the time we get there. If it is written on the blog it is law, right? Accountability!

Eloise and Harvey started one-on-one survival swimming lessons in December. It is my goal to have them each pass starfish level by the time summer arrives, which means if they ever fell into water they could solo float long enough for help to arrive. It would take such a weight off my nervous mom shoulders to know they are water safe. We saw huge progress in both kids this week! Eloise is probably a lesson or two away from earning her starfish badge. She is rolling to her back into float position and floating independently when tossed into the pool. Now she just need to extend her float time. Harvey understandably has further to go, but this week there were no tears during his submersion flip. Basically his fabulous teacher Miss Brittany flips him into the water to disorient and submerge him. The goal is that he will stay calm and right himself to get his head above water. And he does now! These lessons have been so incredible to watch, and I look forward to them each week. The trust the teachers build with their students in order to push them to overcome scary things without making it traumatic (they even somehow make it fun!) is amazing.

The Small Moments

We had an incredibly busy week. It seems like every day we were just floating from one task to the next, always in motion. On Friday our calendar was CLEAR and so was the weather forecast. Sunny and nearly 60 degrees. On the first day of February! While our Michigan family sent us pictures of waist high snow drifts, the kids put on their spring hats and we walked to the park. Harvey blew me away with the number of things he could independently climb and do compared to our park trips in the fall. The fresh air and park giggles were so good for all of us. When we got home we ate lunch together with the windows wide open. The kids, who both have been in tricky moods often lately, were delightful. Happy Friday, indeed!

Harvey has two new favorite bedtime rituals. He likes to sing the song "Skidamarink" and instead of laying together in his bed while we sing he wants me to stand and hold him with his head resting on my shoulder. It feels like he just totally melts into me, and the worries and stress of the day melts away for me.

Saturday after swimming Brad went to run some mystery errands. He came home with 587 pounds (yes, we counted) of water softener salt, cat litter, dog and cat food, and air filters. All of my least favorite, bulky things to buy. Enough to get me through nine months. Deployment stinks, but it does have a way of making me appreciate a husband who ensures we are taken care of even from afar.

The Ways We Grew

This section is usually all about the kids and their new milestones, but this time I want to talk about some personal growth I am proud of. Last fall I was diagnosed with severe generalized anxiety disorder. While Brad was away at NTC, I had a full blown panic attack for the very first time. I knew heading into another deployment that the anticipation of it is the worst part for me, but I never thought it would be so severe and so different this time with two tiny humans who depend on me. Their basic life needs are met by me. In so many moments, their happiness depends on me. They look to me to be their comfort and stability. I started to panic about doing those things alone. My mind whirled with irrational thoughts of, "What if something happened to me? Who would know? What would happen to the kids? Would they know what to do?" I have since learned that all are completely normal and common thoughts of military spouses, but my mind raced, my heart rate followed suit, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Since that night I have sought help and done some serious soul searching. I have leaned hard on friends and learned I am far from alone when it comes to this beast that is anxiety. I have been seeing a therapist weekly and will continue to do so until we hit our deployment groove. One big thing that we have talked a lot about, not to beat a dead horse, is setting social media boundaries for myself. I am still searching for the perfect balance of sharing my life, which I love to do, and logging off and being totally present in my life. I would be a liar if I said I don't have any remaining anxiety about what is coming so soon for our family, but I am proud to have recognized it, made my closest loved ones aware of it, and worked hard to find a much better path than I was on a few months ago.

It has been a minute since I last blogged. I am unsure I can even count all of the ways Harvey has changed and grown. He is talking up a storm. On the day my parents arrived in town to celebrate Christmas with us he said his first true full sentence: "I want to walk with Papa." Melt my dad's heart, right? So many people out and about have commented on how advanced his vocabulary is for his age. It is fun to hear his thoughts come to life. In an effort to minimize transitions for me to tackle solo this year, we threw a bunch of tough changes at him all within a span of a few weeks around the holidays. He knocked every single one out of the park. He is now sleeping through the night without his zipadeezip and buddies (pacifiers) in his big boy bed. Check, check, and check! Three big missions accomplished. He loves to run and has almost mastered it to the point that I only rarely anticipate a face plant rather than every 10 feet. His chunky little feet move about triple the speed of Eloise's but only get half as far. It is my favorite part of our daily evening walks to the mailbox now.

Eloise. Phew. Where to begin. I think most of you have been following along on Facebook after her Hashimoto's diagnosis December 3. We are still trying to pinpoint the perfect dosage for her thyroid hormone replacement to get her back on track. Her behavior and emotions right now are like a rollercoaster. She feels everything in such a big way. It is so hard for us to see because we know it is out of her control and she doesn't understand what is happening in her body. Her endocrinologist literally told us to just "hold on tight" through this time and practice a lot of patience with her. I miss our always joyful Eloise. At the beginning of all of this, I read a quote that really hit me: "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." So, so true.

The Witt-isms

"That was fun." -Harvey's new favorite expression loading back up into the car after pretty much everything we do. I love his little reminder that life really is, just plain and simple, fun.

"LOOK!!! A shooting star! QUICK! Make a wish!" -Eloise, seeing the condensation train behind an airplane.

This one was said a few weeks ago when my mom was in town but needs to be documented. She was being difficult at the time:
"We need to have a talk." -Grandma Sue
"A taco?!" -Eloise
Have no fear. When you are in trouble, there is always tacos.

Looking Ahead

New section alert! Here I want to countdown to a few things we are looking forward to. Using the full 270-ish days (oof.) as a countdown is not good for anyone's morale, so instead we are going to be looking forward to fun that is ahead in more of the short term. I guess I should have titled this section spoiler alert. These are probably all of the things you'll read about in Sunday updates to come.

Family pictures | 6 days --- We are long overdue for some professional family pictures. I have been putting it off for awhile now because photographing a 2 and 4 year old is always chaos. Gives me anxiety just thinking about it. I am kicking that negativity to the curb and we are going for it this Saturday! My friends Laura and Steph are the perfect team for the job. Laura is a photography wizard and Stephanie will be bribing my kids with as many chocolate chips as needed. Let's hope for sunshine and at least a few genuine kid smiles.

Valentine's Day breakfast | 12 days --- Our first married Valentine's Day I woke up at the crack of dawn to prepare a surprise breakfast for Brad. I loved planning it, and he still talks about it as one of his favorite things I have done for him. I really went all out. This year we decided to start a new tradition and pull off a similar breakfast for the kids. I can't wait to spoil them.

Valentine's Day 2014

Colorado getaway | 13 days --- Brad and I have been pondering a pre-deployment vacation just the two of us for a long time, but we keep coming back to honestly not wanting to spend that much time from the kids. I know we sound crazy, but nine months is long enough to spend apart. Why add another week or two to it? We decided to take Brad's parents up on their offer to come out for President's Day weekend so we could do a short but sweet Colorado getaway. We found the most adorable tiny house Airbnb (HGTV worthy) right between Denver and Boulder. We are very much excited for sleeping in and leisurely meals with no goldfish or cheerios on the table.


Sorry this is so deployment heavy. I wrote it, read it back, and realized the topic creeped into just about every section. Honestly, that is exactly how it feels in these last few weeks. Always there, hovering overhead like a dark cloud even in happy moments. One day at a time! I really do feel like by processing a lot of this now we will more easily hit our stride after the big see you later.