A Truly Great Grandpa

My Grandpa Emery finished his beautiful life here on Earth today just shy of 93 years old. I know he is enjoying his first morning coffee, donut, and newspaper in Heaven right now.

Emery Rantz, husband, brother (to 10 siblings!), veteran, father, grandfather, great grandfather, and friend to many, was the epitome of a kind-hearted man. I think Eloise was the only one who got his title just right by honoring him as the great human that he was.

Here are just a handful of my favorite memories of and with my Grandpa Emery.

+ His love of cheese. He passed his cheese-loving gene on to me. He and I shared many sneaky snacks of sharp cheddar together.

+ His sports enthusiasm. For many seasons growing up, our annual Michigan State football tailgates included Grandpa Emery. He loved to hear the marching band warm up with the fight song echoing through campus. Grandpa Emery was also a devoted Cubs baseball fan. Someday (and that is a big, optimistic someday) when the Cubs finally win the World Series, I know it will be for him. Once while golfing with my dad and grandpa, I chipped a ball from a ways off the green and sunk it right into the hole. Trust me, it was a total fluke. But my Grandpa Emery, the avid golfer, smiled for weeks.

+ His smile. Getting Grandpa Emery to smile for posed family pictures was always a challenge. But when he was truly happy or proud? See for yourself throughout these pictures.

+ His love for Brad. Maybe it was their shared service or their matching kind hearts, or maybe Grandpa Emery was just glad to finally have a grandson! Whatever it was, their bond was special. Once the two of them got to chatting together, the rest of the world just faded away. His pride was palpable when they would video chat while Brad was in Afghanistan.

Receiving a flag flown in his name in Afghanistan from Brad

+ His simple pleasures. Grandpa Emery loved my grandma's homemade pie, ice cream, and a good dinner roll or three on his Thanksgiving plate. He loved attending Lakeshore softball games (sorry none of your granddaughters were even remotely athletic, grandpa). He loved his many mornings at Dale's Donuts with his buddies. He loved summer concerts at the bandshell downtown. I love that he cherished the little things.

+ His pride in his service. Grandpa Emery was a WWII veteran, serving alongside four of his brothers. He loved to talk about his time in Europe, and it was very clear how proud he was of his country. His oldest brother was killed in action at the Battle of the Bulge, and he honored him often in many conversations. I know traveling to West Point for our wedding and experiencing it's military history was a major highlight of his life.

+ His adventuresome spirit. My Grandpa Emery and his wife, my Grandma Jean, were married for 67 years and shared a lifetime of adventures. They loved to travel to Australia, and for 18 years they "worked" security at the Masters golf tournament. Their adventures together were beyond what many dream of.

October 1948

+ His family pride. Many of my classmates probably remember my grandpa as the random guy at the gas station who would ask anyone in a Lakeshore varsity jacket if they knew Whitney or Kayla Rantz. He was endlessly proud of my sister and I and was quick to tell anyone and everyone all about it. He was always in the stands for Friday night football, but he was actually just there to see Whitney cheerlead and me dance at halftime. Every time the honor roll was printed in the paper, we were quietly slipped a proud $20 bill from Grandpa Emery. Lately he loved to brag to his medical providers about my nursing career. He was all of our biggest fan.

+ His kindness. Hands down, my favorite thing about my Grandpa Emery was his kindness. His words always made you feel important, and his actions were always in the interest of others. He made friends everywhere he went, and he valued them all. Even in his last days, he was recalling fond memories from decades ago with such sharpness as if they were yesterday.

+ His role of great grandpa. The first time Grandpa Emery met Eloise, his spirits lifted and there was a new spark in his eyes. The rare but genuine smile I mentioned earlier was bigger than ever. He loved to admire her blonde curls, and her grin matched his sitting on his lap for a picture after her baptism just ten days before he passed. I cannot express the joy it brings me knowing Brad and I were able to give him the gift of knowing his great granddaughter.

With me in 1988 and with Eloise in 2015

I could go on and on. Instead, I think Eloise and I will go enjoy a cheese snack together in the sunshine and smile in appreciation of such a long and happy life. 

I think the hardest part of this for me is witnessing my dad's heart break in losing his own dad. This is the first time either my mom or dad have lost a parent. We have been fortunate to have so many great years with all four of them. Dad, I see so much of grandpa in you every single day. The way you love Eloise is exactly the way he has loved me.

Grandpa Emery, I will carry your kindness with me always. Rest peacefully. The head of the table at family dinners will never be the same without your smiling face. 

I love you so very much, and I miss you already.

Ruby Tuesday

Brad grew up with an incredible canine companion named Red Rover, or simply, Red. He was handsome, a self-proclaimed lap dog (although very large), loyal, and a bit of a doofus at times, but above all he was very loved. Red passed away peacefully of old age this December. Although, much to Oliver and Lola's pleasure, Brad now classifies himself as a "cat guy," I have always known that his heart carries a special place for dogs because of Red.

Now we all know I am about as crazy as the crazy cat ladies come. Owning a dog was never something my heart truly yearned for, and the training challenge always felt beyond my scope of knowledge. As an all around animal lover, I of course enjoyed time spent my friends' playful pups, but I even more so enjoyed watching them pick poop up out of the grass after scolding he or she for attempting to eat it. YUCK.

Well, karma and puppy fever have finally won. My days of poop scooping are here as are days full of what I am finding to be one of the best kinds of love --- puppy love. Brad brought this sweet girl home to me last Thursday.

Although she is not quite the same bold hue of Red, "Ruby" just seemed to fit. Her name is a small tribute to a great, old dog and a new one, who will hopefully bring the same amount of happiness to our lives. Ruby amazes us every day with her abounding love, trust, and expanding world. It is such an incredible thing to watch her learn. Her most recent achievement has been successful stair climbing. You would have thought Ruby just won an Olympic gold metal the way Brad and I cheered for and praised her at the top of the steps. We are proud pup parents, to say the least.

So far Ruby has been a dream to train, and her temperament really cannot be beat. When it's quiet time, she cuddles. When it's play time, her happy puppy prance says it all. She has not had one single accident inside. Yes, you read that correct. Not one! She doesn't make a single peep from her crate at night. She trots happily right along beside us on our walks. She lays right down in the passenger seat and rides quietly in the car. When you pick her up she leans hard into your chest, which is possibly the best feeling in the world. In the words of one of Brad's friends, "Is this real life?! It's like I'm snuggling a fluffy cloud!" Everyone who has met Ruby has fallen hard in love with her. She has absolutely stolen our hearts.

And the best part? Ruby is so gentle and calm with Oliver and Lola. My biggest fear of getting a puppy was that it would ruin the personalities of our perfect cats. I researched very in depth how to appropriately introduce them, and so far it is going really well. It will be a slow and cautious but worthwhile process. Right now we have a gate up between Ruby's room and the rest of our place. The cats have been creeping closer every day for a view of the (fluffy and harmless) beast of the master bathroom. We joke that they think they are at the zoo peeking between the bars. So far they have gone nose-to-nose through the gate with no hissing, escape runs, or fear in general. Stay tuned for future pictures of the three of them snuggled up together. Is that too much to hope for?

Even though she is already so well behaved, we will soon be enrolling in some basic puppy training classes together. My ultimate goal is to train Ruby to become a therapy dog. I've experienced first hand on the oncology unit I used to work for how they can completely change the mood of a hospital room, and Ruby's personality is perfect for the job. Everybody can use a little canine love in their lives. Even me. The crazy cat lady who is currently in transition to equally crazy dog lady, all thanks to our little Ruby.

The Long Gray Line

Before Brad left for West Point's 'Beast' boot camp, he gave me a CD to listen to while he was away. "All My Loving" by Jim Sturgess {listen here!} from the movie Across the Universe was track number one. There were many lonely days that I listened to it on repeat more times than was probably healthy. I wrote to Brad every single day as our only form of communication, and he still has a hard time expressing how much those letters meant to him. Our relationship was still so new at that point, but there was no denying we were falling in love.

Track number one again played on repeat for me recently, but this time silently in my head. As I waited for the commencement ceremony for the United States Military Academy Class of 2013 to begin, a wave of nostalgia hit me. As I sat in the freezing rain in my bright red poncho and rain boots I had begrudgingly worn rather than my adorable planned sundress (yes, the weather was that bad), I thought about the lyrics, what they meant to me then, and what they mean to me now. Four years have come and gone, and so much has happened! I was accepted to and graduated from nursing school, we adopted two kittens, I moved to New York. We traveled together to Key West, Las Vegas, Boston, San Francisco, Alaska, and France. We watched Michigan State win a lot and Army lose a lot of football games (sorry love, couldn't resist). We both said goodbye to our childhood homes as our parents moved on to bigger and better things. Brad asked a big question, and I said yes. A lot can happen in four years, just to name a few.

And now we can add one very big one to the list. Brad has joined the long gray line as a West Point graduate. He is now a Second Lieutenant in the United States Army and will join the 36th Engineer Brigade at our first duty station, Fort Campbell, Kentucky.

One thing that did stay the same as Brad journeyed from lowly plebe to officer rank was love. The love we share, love from our families, and love from new and old friends alike. Just as my daily letters got Brad through boot camp and a silly love song helped me survive, it is because of all of the love in our lives that we celebrated a very big accomplishment in rainy Michie Stadium on May 25th together. The weather of graduation day, although a bummer, did not dampen the happiness of the graduates, family, and friends one single bit. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise to hide the tears of joy that fell like waterworks down my cheeks as I got that much anticipated first hug on the field.

To 2LT Witt: Okay, okay. I guess you can take some of the credit. Maybe it wasn't entirely love that got you to graduation day. I suppose a good deal of late nights, physical challenges, hard work, and lessons learned in leadership were necessary on your part too. For some odd reason I expected you to come out of the barracks for the big reveal in your new officer's uniform as a different person. Much to my delight, you are the same exact guy I fell in love with four years ago, just with a spiffy new get-up and admirable title and career to match. You earned this, and I could not possibly be more proud of you. In fact, watching you graduate and commission was the proudest moment of my life so far. Choosing to serve our country in a time of conflict and uncertainty speaks volumes of your selflessness and courage. No matter where Army life takes us from here, together or far apart, know that I am always right beside you. You have "all my loving," always.

From R-Day...

West Point would post pictures of the new cadets every day during boot camp. My summer was spent in a tiny cubicle in the call center at Whirlpool Corporation. Needless to say, I spent many hours scouring their website searching for a familiar face in a sea of soldiers. Here is what I found...

...to Graduation Day!  

As captured by the photojournalism queen (who we are blessed to call our dear friend), Jill Knight of Jillography! 
We are forever grateful to you for giving us the gift of such awesome and emotion-packed pictures.

© Jillography 2013 / www.jillographyblog.com

South Circle Five

"To do what nobody else will do, a way that nobody else can do it, in spite of all we go through; is to be a nurse."

I walked onto south circle five in 2011 as unprepared as every new graduate nurse. I will be the first to admit I was completely, but innocently, ignorant regarding exactly how unprepared I truly was. You come out of a rigorous, nationally ranked nursing program feeling on top of the world, proudly displaying your new badge with 'BSN' in bold and all capitals. But then your first patient's heart stops beating; you call your first code blue. Or a red-faced physician screams in your face. The most self sufficient patient in your assignment consumes all of your time and energy, leaving you feeling guilty about the ones who may have needed you more. Your time management skills (and bladder capacity) are tested far beyond your wildest dreams, and you start to wonder what you got yourself into. Is the stress of this career worth it? Am I really making the difference I set out to make when I decided to become a nurse?

In addition to the typical challenges of novice nursing, my first acute care position opened my eyes to something that those who know me best know is actually one of my biggest fears: death. Many of our patients on south circle five, also known as the Oncology Care Unit, are dying. Bad things happen to the best people and families. That is the cold, hard reality I had to face. One of my most memorable patients gave me a handwritten recipe card of her favorite family dessert as a gift. She wrote,

"To Kayla, my angel. Thank you for your care, 

your hard work, and above all, your love."

She died about a month after. I cried so hard that night as I held on tightly to her card, but in that moment I made myself a promise. Each fall using hand-picked granny smith apples (her specific recommendation for best results), I will smile and honor her memory with her famous apple crisp. I know that is exactly what she would want me to do.

I think people and challenges come into your life at exactly the time you need them most. Being surrounded by something so many people try hard not to think about and something that is very scary to me has helped me see the bigger picture. We have to acknowledge death as a part of life in order to live it better. Death is often unfair and too soon, and that simple truth has helped me make a conscious effort to let the little things go and be happy with the simplicity of day-to-day life.

So right now you might be feeling totally impressed by all of my wise realizations and deep sentiments, but I can't take credit for making the journey alone. My nurse manager told me during my interview that she has the best team. She was absolutely correct. I remember being forewarned by professors about workplace violence and experienced nurses eating their young. If there was one thing I did show up prepared for on day one it was this, but what I witnessed was the exact opposite.

There was not a single shift that I felt unsupported or berated for my lack of experience. My craziest days physically always included an extra set of hands or two to help me catch up, and my toughest days mentally always ended with a hug from a co-worker. My preceptor Renee, who I am convinced may have one of the kindest hearts on this planet, told me something in the very beginning that stuck with me: if we aren't aware of and open to our insecurities, we won't succeed. Whether applied to a career like ours that literally involves life or death or even just to everyday life, this is such an important thing to understand. I was never made to feel that my questions were stupid, and I am still learning new things every single day. It is such a great feeling to reflect on all of the confidence I have gained because of all I've learned. I'm not sure that my co-workers realize the role they have played in my life (but I am hoping many of you will read this and smile!). The same nurse manager that boasted about having the best staff now includes me in that incredible team. Her goodbye to me was something along the lines of,

"Your OCU family is always here for you. 

We raised you and love you." 

Again, she was spot on. The fabulous ladies (plus Jim and Mike too of course!) of south circle five are the most compassionate people I have had the pleasure of knowing personally and professionally. They have helped mold me into the nurse I have become and am still growing into. Instead of feeling upset about having to say goodbye, I am trying to cling to the hope that our military lifestyle with frequent relocation will lend itself to many more opportunities to meet different groups of equally wonderful nurses and friends.

As I move on to my next nursing opportunity I am overwhelmed by how fortunate I was to have had this one as my first. I will always carry it with me. The challenges, bad days, and difficult patients really are as tough as they seem, but I've definitely come to the conclusion that I am in fact making the difference I set out to make when I decided to make this my career. Nursing is worth it.

To every single person that helps make south circle five at Vassar Brothers Medical Center what it is - thank you, I love you all! You will be greatly missed, thought of frequently, and cherished always.

Life is sweet, love is sweeter

The wedding festivities have officially begun!

On Friday afternoon, all of the lovely ladies who make up my half of the bridal party gathered together for one last fling before the ring. These girls are busy saving lives, educating our youth, crunching real estate numbers, and...baking cakes? (Love you, Meredith!) But seriously, how incredible that six people can be so selfless as to rearrange their busy work and school lives to spend the weekend with me. I'm still speechless and so thankful. Don't get me wrong, living near Brad is wonderful, but I forgot how perfect life feels when laughing with my best friends.

All of the weekend events were a complete surprise to me and planned entirely by my family and friends. It was a very welcome change to not worry about any of the day's details. We started off at Renewed Spirit Spa with manicures, pedicures, and massages for all. After a few glasses of champagne and a blissful massage, Despi's massage therapist came out and said to us with an ear-to-ear smile, "She's toast!" We laughed as each of us came out in the same dream-like state with noodles for legs, lion's mane hair, and the goofiest grins plastered on our faces. Needless to say, we all really needed and enjoyed an afternoon of pampering and complete relaxation.

Beautified bride and bridesmaids

Next we indulged in one of my favorite cravings from college: Clara's basil cream chicken tortellini and a jolly rancher cocktail to drink. YUM. More lovely friends from college met up with us here to join in on the fun too, and of course I donned the classic bachelorette sash and tiara overdosed in glitter. Afterwards, we headed to a hotel suite big enough for all of us and did what all reunited girlfriends should naturally do to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of one of the crew. We jammed to 90's feel-good tunes (primarily NSYNC), played "pin the junk on the hunk", and guessed who bought me each set of cute new lingerie. I loved every minute of it and would not have done it any other way. What I appreciate most is that my friends know me so well and love me as I am; they knew I did not want to be taking shots at the bar from strange men and completing embarrassing scavenger hunt tasks. It's just not who I am. Instead they tailored the night to be exactly as I would have planned it myself. You know the day has been perfect when it ends with three snuggled into a bed for two, carefree and chatting until the wee hours of the morning.

 

 "You are the bikini to my bottoms"

 

With my happy-meter completely full, could things possibly get any better? YES. Anyone who knows me and/or my family knows we are planners and detail perfectionists. Even though I know this to be true, the bridal shower my mom and sister Whitney planned for me brought me to tears. The loft my parents live in above their restaurant in downtown Lansing was completely transformed into a beautiful cupcake themed party for 30 of my closest female friends and family.

The transformed loft

We snacked on heart shaped sandwiches and brightly frosted cupcakes while Meredith and Aura earned top marks for knowing the most about us nearly newlyweds. My bride's luck even came through for me with a near perfect guessing game estimate of 78 for a jar full of 77 colorful cupcake papers! My handsome fiancé joined the party (late...typical Bradford) to open gifts that will soon help make our first house together feel like a home. We all know and lovingly accept that Brad is chronically late, but his poor timing was actually quite comedic this time. I had just opened a fun cocktail shaker with built in drink recipes and said to the beautiful (inside and out!) gift-giver Lauren Blaine, "I so wish Brad was here, this was the one thing he put on the registry and really wanted!" As if we had planned it, he walked in at that exact moment. It is in situations like these that rather than wishing he had been on time as I had begged him to be the day before, I love learning to embrace the unexpected laughter of life. On a more sentimental note, we also received a handmade picnic quilt from my Grandma Marge. As the entire room was oohing and awing I was choking back tears feeling like the luckiest granddaughter in the world. It is something so special that we will cherish for the rest of our lives and as our family grows. The day's laughter, sentiment, and loads of generosity left us positively overwhelmed. It is a very rare treat to have so many of the women and girls you admire and love the most in one room celebrating a special occasion together. We are so blessed.

 Stitched with love

  My nanny girls

Now all we need are those handsome groomsmen

Either due to a cupcake sugar high or simply an emotional high, we headed back to New York feeling on top of the world. Thank you to everyone who helped make my weekend so extraordinary. To my mom, Whitney, Meredith, Aura, Despi, Michelle, and Erin: everything was absolutely perfect. I could never say thank you in a way that would express it to match the enormity with which I feel it. I love you all!

Let the Army adventure begin!

Well, I've done it. I have finally succumbed to the typical (soon-to-be) Army wife method of sharing. The blog. As the clock struck midnight welcoming 2013 into our lives, looking into Brad's smiling eyes after our new year's kiss, I knew exactly what we both were feeling: this is our big year. Brad's graduation from West Point is nearly here, and we will vow to spend forever together shortly after. Our entrance into what we have dubbed "real Army life" as husband and wife is so close we can definitely feel it's intimidating thrill. There is so much about what is to come for us that I know we will love, but with so much to learn and adjust to there is definitely a hint (or perhaps a heap) of anxiety to be accounted for. Ready or not, here we go!  

In more immediate news and reasoning for getting this blog up and running, post night is upon us. For those of you unfamiliar with West Point and all of it's perplexing lingo, post night is an event for firsties (seniors) to be assigned their first duty station. We've submitted our top choices, and what's meant to be will be.

Thinking back to the end of November, you'll remember our excitement over Brad earning his #1 choice branch, engineers. We know we will be at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri for about five months beginning late this summer for Brad's BOLC (Basic Officer Leadership Course), but what follows will be determined this Thursday. These assignments are based on each cadet's rank among his class for branching and among his branch for posting. Translation: each happy moment we are feeling now and will be feeling for years to come in our new home Brad has earned for us through an enormous deal of hard work the past four years.

To wrap up my first official blog, words cannot begin to express how blessed we are to be so strongly supported across so many miles. My move to New York after graduation now feels like a baby step, one that I'm so glad I took to prove to myself that love from friends and family spans all distances no matter what. I can now jump into this next big adventure with a steady heart and (the best part!) the hand of my new husband to hold on tight to through the scary stuff. Army life often seems like a foreign world to those not living in it, but I'm hoping this blog will help keep all of you up to date and informed as our journey unfolds.

Best wishes, and warm wishes as I'm watching the snow fall here, to each of you. I am looking forward to another post on Thursday with the big news!

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." -Gail Sheehy